16 and Pregnant

A 30 year old pregnant woman in San Francisco is like a 16 year old pregnant girl in the rest of the country. People just don't know what to do with me! In a city with more dogs than children, a pregnant lady is quite an anomaly - especially one who is embarking on the endeavor of parenthood at such a young age!

As I am starting to feel a bit more like my normal self instead of First Trimester Zombie Lady, I am really making an effort to be more social. Last night, Daniel and I ventured to a party at one of our friend's places in the Mission. Of course, the party started at 9 o'clock. Yes, 9 pm. Since it would be rude to actually show up at 9, the party really started around 9:30. For normal people, no big deal. For me, 9:30 is only an hour shy of my bedtime! Again, in an effort to socialize with people outside of The Bump, I sucked it up and off we went.

In my first trimester, everything was so new and fresh that I really did want to primarily focus on my pregnancy. Every day brought on some new sensation, thought, feeling. I would feel perfectly normal only to find out that, no, I really cannot eat tomatoes. Suddenly, I would find that the oatmeal that I had for breakfast meant that the trajectory of my day would be entirely different from what I had planned. Fatigue was a wall difficult to climb. I felt pride if I simply took out the trash! Every item that I ate, every movement that I made, how much I slept or did not sleep, had to be analyzed intently in an effort to alleviate the "strangeness" that was a part of my every moment.

Up until week 16, I was still having much of the same experience. Then, one day, somewhere between weeks 16 and 17, everything went relatively back to normal! Sure, I still can't eat tomatoes, but I actually feel like my eyes are open during the day, instead of half closed in some fog. This change led to my Pregnancy Revolt. Instead of talking about pregnancy, I wanted to discuss the latest news from NPR. I began to read books other than Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and other pregnancy texts. I actually enjoyed working again, rather than muddling through tasks. For about two weeks, I really didn't want to talk or think about the pregnancy at all. I obviously knew that I was pregnant, but it also felt so good to have me back!

Now, at almost week 19, I feel like I've come to a kind of equilibrium - yes, I'm pregnant and love to talk about my pregnancy, but I also have interests and aspects to myself that have nothing at all to do with impending motherhood. It was with this mindset that I ventured back into society last night. Little did I know that I would scare the villagers!

Some of it was my fault. I should have requested the rocks glass for my water instead of the regular glass. That way, other guests could assume that I was just a hard core - rather than a teetotaler. The non-drinker is always a bit suspicious.

It didn't take too long for other guests to find out that I was having a baby. I'm not showing too much, but the water coupled with a little bump gave me away. After the "Congratulations!," the conversation stops. I tried to talk about something else - their job, where they're from, anything, but I can tell that they feel pressure to discuss my pregnancy and have no idea what to say.

I forgot that not only am I an anomaly as a pregnant lady, but also that I have actually had some experience with babies and pregnancy prior to my own. As the eldest of six, I remember when my little brothers and sisters were born. Most of our friends, however, have rarely encountered pregnant ladies or their babies.

Of course, many of our San Francisco friends are planning on having children - in the vague future. And, like most people who do have children around here, they will probably move to a more suburban area - Marin or the Peninsula.

So, for the present, I have decided that, when we attend social events in San Francisco, I am going to announce that I'm having a puppy.